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Salesmen

May 12, 2016

The man walked into the car yard and was immediately set upon by the salesman. “What are you interested in”? Well, said the man, I like Fords.

Excellent! the salesman replied. We have the Terrain Crusher Extreme XT. It has a combined satnav/GPS. Just whack the big orange button in the middle of the dash and it tells all your friends exactly where you are. They can come and help destroy anyone around the area that you think doesn’t belong there!

And you need at least four of them, all identical, in your garage. You know, just in case the other guy manages to hit his satnav/GPS before you do. And if you don’t have each of them kitted out exactly the same way (electrified bullbars front and back, antipersonnel mines and 105mm howitzers), you’re stupid and you’re doing it wrong!

Ah, thank you said the man, sidling cautiously off the lot.

The following day the man went to a different car yard. Same question. Same response. I like Fords.

Excellent! the salesman replied. We have the Bushidomatic 3000. Available in automatic or manual, though manual is best. Obviously. Two models, the 3000Y and the 3000Z. The Y is set up for speed and has a range detector that sets off a turbo boost to keep chasing vehicles at a safe distance, while the Z swaps out the detector and turbo for a harpoon and winch.

Automatic? Really? Hmmmm. Perhaps some driving lessons might be better for sir then.

And again the man walked off the lot.

The next day the man walked into the last salesyard in town, close to the central business district. This one appeared friendlier than others, no matte black or neon in sight. The sales person asked if he could help. And the man replied that he liked Fords.

Well, sir the salesman replied, what do you like to do? If you want to head out to the badlands, the Terrain Crusher is a very good choice, it’s what all the big car clubs drive these days.

Cruising the means streets, it’s hard to go past a Bushidomatic. Good car, reliable, with a great steering set up and numerous optional extras.

If you want to stay urban, there are a number of options right from two door hatches though to big people movers. Just depends on what you need sir.

The man paused for a second looking around and asked the salesman why there were so many people on the lot. Well, he replied, we do try and be friendly. And we certainly don’t like to judge. But it doesn’t hurt that most of the town lives around here.

About 85% of it.

 

H

 

 

 

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